With the recent announcement by NBC that the season premiere of CHUCK season 5 has been moved back to October 28th, some fans are upset and don't understand why NBC would do such a thing. So I decided to call on my friends at NBC to explain themselves.
First of all, NBC takes into account the direct value of a second of ad space time as it is related to the number of viewers watching. Then, they extrapolate from that the date, time, and air temperature, as well as the position of the sun with relation to Venus and Alpha Centauri.
Next, the schedulers project for the weight of a McDonalds chocolate chip cookie and the difference between it and the weight of a Burger King apple pie, and multiply that by 7, then subtract 4 and add 23. This gives you a totally random number.
NOW, this is when things get a bit complicated but I will make it as easy as possible.
NBC uses a fancy schmancy formula based on astrophysical equations that relate the speed of light and the distance between two random points on the galactic map in the emergency kit given to every NBC employee (since Comcast took over), and divide that by the random number generated in the previous step. Then, they subtract, divide, and turn upside down the number 42, then juggle it around in a bottle of tequila before pouring it out into 12 shot glasses that are then given to 11 scheduling employees who each do one shot. The remaining shot is then given to an Elvis impersonator who splashes the drink in his face.
At this point a newborn kitten is brought in to act super cute and to meow incessantly. The Elvis impersonator then sings a Cold Play song and does a strange NFL endzone victory dance he calls the Elvis Pelvis Shuffle. The staff claps, spins in circles with their eyes closed, and then walk toward a calendar with their index fingers extended. Once each member of the staff lands on a date, the office manager writes down all the dates, adds them up, and divides for the average, then adds 12 for no reason whatsoever.
And that, CHUCK fans, is how NBC decides where your show will end up on the schedule!
Ok reading that made my head hurt. LOL
ReplyDeleteWhy? IT IS SO SIMPLE!
ReplyDeletethank you very much ChuckGasmic ;D
ReplyDeleteYou are very welcome.
ReplyDeleteROTFLMAOAP!
ReplyDeleteThis felt like I just read a chapter of Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy lol. Do the NBC employees get a towel in that emergency kit Comcast issued them?
ReplyDeleteYou should never go ANYWHERE without your towel.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the answer to everything is 42; which happens to be 28 multiplied by 2 and subtracted by 14.
ReplyDeleteTimes 1.
ReplyDeleteOh! And I thought they just used the same formula the BCS uses for college football rankings.
ReplyDeleteI may have copied and pasted the BCS formula.
ReplyDeleteActually, the rescheduling is all my fault. I have to be travelling on October 21st, so pushing the premiere back a week was actually done to accommodate me. That way, I get to watch the premiere live.
ReplyDeleteSorry folks!
DARN YOU BOWMAN!
ReplyDeleteThat was VERY! funny Magnus!
ReplyDeleteIT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!
ReplyDeleteYou are not going to frikin believe this. I am at Starbucks and saw chucvgasmic on a guys ipad and he was reading this frikin articel!
ReplyDeleteReally?! That's kind of random-awesome right there!
ReplyDeleteYour formula might be more successful then what NBC is using, you should pitch it to them :)
ReplyDeleteAs for Chuck being pushed back i think we can get 2 conclusions from that
1. NBC is expecting for Chuck to do bad in ratings so they are going to air the whole 13 episodes no matter what
2. an extra episodes order is 100 % out of the question.
If they didn't push forward Chuck after their new shows failed in a big way i think it's pretty clear they gave up on the show a long time ago and the only reason we got a 5th season is because they got a garage sale price from Warner Brothers
AdriaN'S.. you know I like you, even though I have banned you like three times, for life. But neither one of your points make any sense.
ReplyDeletePushing it back one week MEANS NOTHING to either of those points.
1. They ALREADY announced this is the last season. So, clearly they don't expect big ratings.
2. It was already 90% out of the question. It is still 90% out of the question. This changes nothing.
I like you too (not in a gay way) :D but i'm pretty sure if they keep bumping Chuck to later days the show will probably wrap up the filming by the time they are airing the 2nd or 3rd episode so i think that makes it pretty clear they are not going to extend the episodes number
ReplyDeleteI don't have 1 % of your insight & experience with TV shows but i'm pretty sure when your schedule is performing bad you try new shows or new airing days to make things better
So to me it would made more sense if NBC aired the Chuck premiere sooner so they can see how it performs with a new air day.
That way they can make a decision if they extend the number of episodes or not, especially since their new shows are doing so bad.
The show will wrap around the time episode 5.06 is airing. It would have wrapped around episode 5.07 airing. If you think ONE WEEK would make a difference in any decision that was coming down the pipeline...
ReplyDeleteAs for it coming back earlier, now that would have maybe meant something. But coming back one week later is virtually meaningless as far as what we already knew.
I have to ask, who drew that awesome picture of Morgan jumping the shark?
ReplyDeleteRob Cabrera created the Morgan picture. I put in the shark and stuff.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was indicated somewhere that NBC's reasoning for the switch was that they wanted to promote Grimm closer to Halloween. Chuck is pretty much attached at the hip to Grimm in terms of promotion so it seems like that is a logical (although not appealing to fans) reason for the switch. NBC doesn't want to spend a ton of money promoting Chuck on it's own so it's getting dragged along with Grimm.
ReplyDeleteIf they had planned that out from the start, at least both shows could have been written with a Halloween theme. This is just scheduling pulling a strategy out of their arses. Nothing smart about it.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if this will mess up the timing of a Christmas episode and stick in January or something.
ReplyDeleteJim
I wouldn't be surprised if the Christmas episode is moved to April. ;)
ReplyDeleteI apologize for attempting to apply logic to NBC :)
ReplyDelete42 is a good number. Its no 73 but still a good number ;-)
ReplyDelete