Friday, October 8, 2010

The Crazy Shipper

Here is the mentality that thinks itself the "good guy" in the crazy shipper universe.  An email was sent to me and every single head of a CHUCK website in the fandom.  Why would someone do this?  Perhaps because they think it will somehow humble me.  Or because they think the rest of the fandom doesn't know me... oh no!  I am mean to crazy shippers!  And they are just sweet and innocent types who deserve to be heard over and over and over and over ABOUT THE SAME THING.

But more importantly, this is brought on by me posting a spoiler that made these unstable nutjobs upset.  Not because the spoiler is upsetting but because they DECIDED it is upsetting.  So, here you go... the greatest e-mail of all time.  I am now going to cry because I am going to be alone... and that scares me. *frowny face*

(seriously, where is the place in this world where this is effective? DO YOU LIVE IN A MOVIE?)

Dear Mr. LeKay [ed. note: you spelled my name incorrectly, dippy... I am not French]:
I will be unhappy on the day that the last episode of Chuck airs. But I will be happy, too, because it will mean that your 15 minutes of "fame" have passed.

What a small man you must be. You take your bits of "inside" information and use them to taunt people whose only crime is that they care too much about fictional characters who have touched their lives. Using the specious claim that you are trying to promote the show, you invent pejoratives for dedicated fans who have done nothing to you except hang on your pronouncements.

Come the day of the final episode of Chuck, your persona will cease to exist. No one will care what you say. No one will go to your blog. No one will care about your Twitter rantings.

No one is perfect. Certainly not I. And certainly not the fans, who care too much about Chuck and Sarah and perhaps have something missing in their lives. Fans do obsess a bit too much. But you, who taunt them and ridicule them and treat them like fools, apparently have no life at all.

You will be alone on the day that Chuck ends. And you deserve it. You cause pain for your own pleasure and that is quite sad.

Cynthia Rawlinson

PS: I have taken the liberty of sending this Email to the publishers of some other Chuck-related websites. I hope they take notice of your nasty and abusive actions and taunts.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Dear DR: Bringing Sexy Sex Back

Hey everyone!  Did you miss this blog segment???  I know you did!  That is why I am bringing it back.

I have been answering fan questions on the podcast but have also received questions from other adventurous places around the Internet and figured I would put them here.  Some of the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

HERE WE GO!  Oh wait... DR stands for DARTH RAZORBACK and not "doctor."  Some people were confused back in the day.  Oh and.... SPOILER WARNING!  Also, please do not copy and paste this on another site.  Just link to this blog.  Thanks.

FYI, for more spoiler stuff, click here:

DR, I love everything you do and want to have your babies [I may have also edited some of these to make it seem like people love me more than they do]! My question is this: what is the chance of a back-6 or back-9 for CHUCK season 4? Also, what do you or your insiders think is the chance of a 5th season? Thanks. Please bless me, lord DR. -- Obi-Wan Shenobi

My insiders have indicated that while a back six is more likely, that a back nine is still possible.  Personally, I think a back 33 should happen so the show can get to 100 episodes.  But that is just me.  As for a 5th season, I think that is unlikely.  But anything can change in the next few months.  May the dark Force be with you my apprentice.

Dear DR, I am digging season 4 and everything but I don't get why the show won't bring the sexy sex back. They could show Chuck and Jill having sex, or starting to, in season 2, but now Chuck and Sarah, who are full blown in lovezies, are hell bent on a snuggle fest. What gives? Are they afraid of showing people in love doing the nasty? Is puritanical idiocy infecting the show? Are the show runners asleep at the wheel? I think they are sucking up the chemistry between Chuck and Sarah by never having them do much more than bunny kiss and cuddle. What say you? -- Air Duct Ninja

I brought this up on the podcast before they put Chuck and Sarah together... people in love, who are in a relationship, are difficult to make/keep sexy hot on television.  This is one of the reasons why TV executives fear putting their romantic leads together.  You can't have them making hot love every week, but you can keep the hunger for hot love going forever if you keep them apart.  Granted, this show COULD do it.  But they seem to not want to... and this is not just conjecture on my part.  My SSFI ninjas tell me that some of the kissing and bed scenes have been shot hot and heavy but then edited down to safe and sweet.

I have actually read where fans think Zac and Yvonne don't like each other and that is why their chemistry is not as explosive as it used to be... but the actors are still giving it their all and putting passion into their scenes when the script calls for it.  It is the show runners who have purposely edited some hotness out, starting with 3.12.  And the scripts for season 4 have been pretty tame, so the actors are not going to suddenly start making out like crazed love tigers when the script calls for a tender kiss.  So, ask Fedak or Schwartz why they are doing that.  Perhaps Josh is taking all the hot scenes and giving it to his other show.

First, will you marry me? Second, I know the show runners have said they learned their lesson and won't be putting anyone between Chuck and Sarah but they haven't said whether or not they will be splitting them up at any point.  So, can you tell us if they are planning a split-up this season? There is an episode called "First Fight" that has me worried. Thanks and I love you, dark lord of the Sith. -- Pining Woods

First, maybe... send pics.  Second, yes.  It is coming following "First Fight."  Though, it doesn't happen until the following episode "Fear of Death."  So, you get a lot of Chuck and Sarah together episodes until then.  Enjoy it while it lasts!

Will we see any of our favorite characters like Carina or Sarah's dad return this season?  -- Someone Who Doesn't Listen to the Podcast

If you listened to the podcast you would know the answer to this.  Why do I put in all that effort if you can't even make an effort to listen?!  WHY?!?!?!?!  Anyway, not that I know of... but I would love to see them return.  Maybe if there is a back six/nine.  May the Schwartz be with you.

I sometimes see you tweet "Pancakes!"  Does it have any secret meaning other than being a reference to "Dream Job"?  -- Clueless Poopsicle

It has several meanings, actually.  There is an insider meaning that I cannot share.  There is a pancake meaning... which is a love for pancakes.  And then there is the Metallica reference... and you should only click on that link if you like dirty, dirty words and metal.  May the Cliff Burton be with you.

You said this season is going to be epic and that it will "go down in history!" But so far it isn't blowing me away. Is there something coming down the line that made you say that or were you just hyping it to get people excited? -- Doucheaholic

I am digging this season.  Sure, it is not superduperawesome but that is mostly because the budget is TINY.  You have to appreciate what they are delivering on a budget that couldn't deliver 30 minutes for some cable shows!  On that level alone, this season should go down in history... HISTORY.  But there is stuff they are doing this season that I think is pretty daring.  Though, on paper a lot of this can sound better than is delivered.  Plus, things I heard about prior to the season starting, or episodes being shot, have been changed.  Sometimes that happens due to budget and sometimes because someone in a position of power decides to change things.  

Dear DR, will there be a Chuckfest 2? If so, when and how much will it cost? -- Chuckaholic12

Looks like it.  It will be awesome.  It should be announced very, very, very soon.  Donations will go to Zac's charity of choice.  It will happen next month.  Tickets will go for a few bills (remember, this is for CHARITY).  I think it will be better than the last one... and the first Chuckfest was great.

Dear DR, will I be showing up again in an episode this season? I know you liked my role in the premiere. -- Chuck's Hairy Chest

Yes.  You do appear.... in a scene where the new Greta shaves you off!  Hah!  Finally a Greta gets to do something important.  OK, that second part may not be true.

Dear DR, will Timothy Dalton have a mustache like in Hot Fuzz? -- Sarah's Hairy Chest

Great question!  It is kind of a sheepish... trucker style... thing.


DR, in a recent interview, Sarah and Ryan said that Ellie and Awesome will be showing Sarah what a normal life is like.  Can you tell us more about that?  Does that mean that Ellie and Sarah will have scenes where they develop a relationship and become friends?  Will Sarah be taking advice from Ellie?  Thanks!  -- D'ole Fart

That is a really interesting question, one that requires a pretty involved response.  No.

Kristin D Santos just posted another one of those "someone will get engaged" things on her site and Chuck and Sarah are not on it! I guess that rules them out this season. Why would the show runners not give us at least that, since the show might not even make it past these 13 episodes?  -- Pop Rocks

If I had a million dollars for all the things I know about CHUCK that Kristin doesn't... I probably wouldn't be wasting my time answering questions on this blog.  I would be watching my bunny sniff cocaine off a hooker's arse on my frakin' yacht!  I mean, come on!  I could sail the seven seas with a boatload of Perfect 10 models!  Woohoo!  I am the lizard king!  I can do ANYTHING!

Wait... what was the question?

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Chuck You Tuesday - Episode 44 (ADULTS ONLY)

We talk CHUCK 4.03, CHUCK Vs. The Cubic Z and I answer fan questions (so, spoilers at the end).

This is an UNEDITED podcast.

ADULT LANGUAGE WARNING! DO NOT let your kids hear this. This PODCAST has offensive language and subject matter!

PLEASE VOTE (once per month) for the podcast HERE!

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes by clicking this link.